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Spiritual Misconceptions Christians Make About Marriage in the World Today

BY Moshood Fayemiwo

DAVID (not real name) met Bidemi (not real name) at the University of Lagos during their undergraduate years in the 1980s. Bidemi was a virgin girl at the Faculty of Education while David was studying Law, and because she believed David’s promise to marry her, she gave her virginity away on campus. She was on her sophomore holiday when she discovered she was pregnant and enthusiastically informed David. To her bemusement, David threw her under the bus insisting he didn’t want to have anything to do with the pregnancy.

Luckily for Bidemi, she was from an affluent family. Her parents flew her to the UK where she delivered the baby; a boy exactly the replica of David. But there was something Bidemi did the day she delivered the baby; she uttered the following words amid sobbing and blood on the delivery bed; “Lord, look at what David did to me; may David not have marital peace in his entire life. May he be moving from one woman to another all the days of his life for breaking my heart.” Bidemi returned to Unilag and graduated. Everyone went their separate ways. Fast forward, thirty-five years later, David became a professor and had been married thrice. Someone preached the gospel to him and he gave his life to the Lord Jesus Christ, but this aspect of his life is still hunting him for when last we spoke, he had been divorced again.

Funmi’s case was different when she called me from Germany. She was planning filing immigration papers for a man she met the last time she was on vacation in her native Nigeria. The young man had proposed to her at the local church service she attended with her sister in north Lagos. She wanted us here at The Jesus Christ Solution Center, TX to “check out” the young man spiritually before she brought him to Germany. Our spiritual diagnoses on the young man were bad. The young man was one of the sons of Prof David whom I knew his story way back from the University of Lagos. I told Funmi that she was free to marry the Prof’s ‘son, but the marriage would not last.

The Laws of the True Lord God Almighty stand in the heavens and earth forever as the Psalmist says: “Your word, LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens” (Psalm 119:89). The Decalogue or Ten Commandments have not been abrogated and thus extant in the world, including in the lives of born-again Christians. When the Lord God Almighty commanded thus: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.”You shall have no other gods before me.”You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me…” (Exodus 20:1-5); He meant it.

Every human being from the time of the rebellion and disobedience of our First Parents; Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden had been under a curse as Paul pointed this out in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of the Lord.” Yes, our Lord Jesus Christ came to take away the sin through His Death on the Cross and Resurrection Three Days later on Calvary.

Here is where Satan sneaks in on Christians; we assumed the curses have been taken away wholesale. We fail to differentiate between iniquities and sins and most Christians are miserable in this area and are dogged by unnecessary vicissitudes of life through foolish spiritual ignorance. Curses do not have expiration date. Read this in Joshua 6:26: “At that time Joshua pronounced this solemn oath: “Cursed before the LORD is the one who undertakes to rebuild this city, Jericho: “At the cost of his firstborn son he will lay its foundations; at the cost of his youngest he will set up its gates.” When Joshua pronounced these curses on Jericho in the hearings of the Israelites and remnants of Jericho citizens gathered, they thought he was joking.

Ditto when Sister Bidemi cursed David on the delivery table in the UK; the medical doctor and nurses who took of her delivery thought nothing of it. In Jericho, nothing happened for nearly three thousand years until one day, a king tried to rebuild the city of Jericho. Satan wrote those curses down and asked for the file called the Book of Death where he wrote it (Revelation 20:11-15). We read of the fulfillment of the curses on Jericho thus: “In Ahab’s time, Hiel of Bethel rebuilt Jericho. He laid its foundations at the cost of his firstborn son Abiram, and he set up its gates at the cost of his youngest son Segub, in accordance with the word of the LORD spoken by Joshua son of Nun” (I Kings 16:34).

Curses do not depend on the righteousness of the pronouncer. It is activated by satanic forces in accordance with spiritual law. That was the reason the Jehovah Lord God Almighty stepped in to kibosh Balaam’s incipient curses on the children of Israel at the instigation of Balak.

A top public office holder sent words to us pleading for help. He is highly influential in an African country, rich and popular, but has five daughters and only one boy. The boy was his heir but a strange illness hit the crown prince and in desperation sent for us. We flew in from Texas and checked out the kid. His case was terrible. The parents were pleading that his life should be saved. We didn’t see the demon of Death around and the Holy Spirit said the problem was not intercessory prayers, but curses. Well, the grandfather was also a high-ranking politician while alive and very wealthy. But ironically, all the money he made was through graft. He collected mouth-watering government contracts for road construction, public office buildings, stadia and other infrastructure but did shoddy jobs. Accidents claimed lives, stadia caved in which killed spectators and curses were rained on him. He died and departed the scene, now his only male grandkid was paying for those curses.

In 1993 during the pro-democracy struggle in my native Nigeria, one name that Gen. Sani Abacha used to put terror in many in the struggle was that souless man called Zakari Biu at the FIIB, Alagbon, Ikoyi Lagos. He personally made my life a living hell in those hellish years in the annals of Nigerian history. This demonic man was the one that orchestrated the dastardly murder of that fine Nigerian journalist; Bagauda Kaltho through parcel bomb in Kaduna during the Abacha Dark Years. Zakari Biu was the epitome of tears, sorrows and blood in many Nigerian homes during those terrible years. He was in broad roseate as the bastard addressed a horrible press conference on the death by parcel bomb of Kaltho.

We prayed at the FIIB and DMI during my Damascene Years and placed a curse on Zakari Biu and that curse worked. In 2010, nearly one and half decade we placed a curse on Zakari Biu and his family, his son who was a staff of the EFCC died the way Bagauda Kaltho died during the October 1, 2010 Independent Anniversary Celebration Bomb Blast at the Eagle Square during the Jonathan Administration. Just as the charred body of Kaltho could not be traced, so also the charred body of Zakari Biu’s son. I often laugh at the Nigerian politicians who say they are rich and have stolen public money to become so-called: “big men “and I pity them. I guarantee them that they will pay terribly for their heinous crimes of larceny and corruption (Exodus 20:15) from generation to generation, because the Almighty God says He would visit the iniquities of the fathers unto the children from the first to three to five generations. He still means it.

Brother A. and his wife, Sister B of nearly five years were having issues in their marriage. Sister B. suddenly found out she wasn’t interested in making love to her husband anymore after two children. The sexual act was always painful and she seemed nearly through with her husband. “It’s not as if I am denying him sex Dr” Sister B said when we got talking-referring to her husband. “It’s painful and I don’t enjoy the sex anymore,” she agonized amid sobbing as my wife and I looked at each other. Their local pastor had prayed with the couple. They had gone to therapists and counselors but nothing moved the needle. They had fasted and friends had offered support for the sake of the children, but nothing seemed to improve.

What do you do after praying countless hours, fasted, conducted vigils upon vigils, went to the mountains and the problems still persist? We think the number of hours we spend in prayers dictate the quality of our prayers and thus must be answered by the Lord God Almighty. Not in all cases. When our Lord Jesus Christ told us to pray without ceasing in Luke 18:1: “Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up,” He was talking about the power of persistence and patience. The wicked judge must be broken down with the widow’s persistence, but God Almighty isn’t a wicked Judge, because; “…for your Father knows what you need before you ask him,”” (Matthew 6:8).

Sister B’s issues had nothing to do with marriage counseling, sex therapy, prayers and vigil but knowledge and wisdom as revealed in the inerrant Word of God (Hosea 4:6 & I Corinthians 12: 8). I asked Sister B through the Holy Spirit, if she normally had sex in her dream soon after her monthly period. “How did you know Dr?” She was flummoxed. “I didn’t know but the Holy Spirit just revealed it to me,” I informed her. “Once after that dream sex, you’d be avoiding your husband throughout the month and that was the cause of the marital problems.” The Holy Spirit told us what to do and the following month, both had the most enjoyable sexual intercourse in their entire lives and they are still together as husband and wife.

I hear the sarcasms of some matured Christians talk glibly and tongues-in-cheek thus: “I’m a child of the Living God and my past is gone and gone forever.” Yes, you’re a child of the Living God, but why do you pray and pray over the same things over and over again and nothing seems to change? If the True Lord God Almighty said emphatically: “Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.…” (Isaiah 59:1-2NLT), so why are prayers not going through? Then the Lord God Almighty stated in the 17 Verses that followed 21 things that caused this unanswered prayers which many Christians neglect today. This is why many Christian marriages are in turmoil. Many Christian couples are just hanging in the marriage, because of the pastor, their church’s doctrines, for the children’s sakes, because of their parents, reputation in the community etc but the marriages are loveless. They are enduring instead of enjoying their marriages.

Most Christian Pastors emphasize sins at the expense of iniquities when diagnosing marital problems for couples, whereas they belong to separate spiritual aisles: (Isaiah 59:1: “But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you.” “Your iniquities have turned these away, and your sins have kept good from you”-Jeremiah 5:25; etc). I have explained in detail the differences between iniquitous acts and sinful behaviors in this column in past articles and will not repeat that again.

Many Christian singles desirous of settling down go for blood tests, HIV tests, counseling sessions etc but neglect the greatest of them all: spiritual counseling in terms of spiritual personality diagnostic tests. Simply because a man is a pastor and you’re planning to marry him doesn’t mean you’re spiritually compatible. Simply because a Christian brother and Christian sister are both church workers, choristers and see each other every day or weekly in church services mean they are spiritually compatible as future husband and wife. It is possible and we see all the time here at The Jesus Christ Solution Center from numerous calls we receive that some Christian couples weren’t spiritually compatible and shouldn’t have been husbands and wives in the first place, if they did spiritual compatibility diagnostic tests prior to tying the knots.

Sister H. couldn’t believe her ears when she sent the names of three pastors to us and the Holy Spirit told us none of the three was her husband. “Dr, they’re pastors, ! She screamed on the other end of the telephone. Read how the True Lord God Almighty did it the very first time in Genesis 2:20-24: “But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Adam recognized Eve here as his wife, because he knew she was taken out of his ribs and his flesh. Who told you my Christian Sister that your God-given husband must be a pastor? There are many pastors out there today that are demon-infested and if you knew what they do in their closets, you will alarmed. Now there are also numerous pastors walking the real Christian Walk, but titles aren’t what Christian Sisters should be concerned with and charmed by when looking for their God-given husbands. Also, if you are married to one pastoral monster masquerading as pastor, you can get out immediately. The Holy Bible says we should marry in the Lord and not married pastors, evangelists, missionaries etc. (I Corinthians 7:39).

– Dr Moshood Ademola Fayemiwo is Chancellor and Provost; The Jesus Christ Solution Center, 410 W. 4th Street, Cameron, TX 76520. He can be reached via email at drmoshoodfayemiwo@gmail.com or admin@jesuschristsolutioncenter.com. His contact number is: 254-605-4035. Website:www.jesuschristsolutioncenter.com

– The opinions and views expressed in this article are solely those of the writer/author, and do not necessarily represent or reflect the editorial policy of Headline News Nigeria.

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