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Being Married: The Many Variables of Marriage


BY Femi Awodele


IN his letter to the church in Ephesus, Paul the apostle compared the relationship of a man and woman in marriage with that of Christ (the groom) and the Church (bride) – please note, church here does not connote what we call church today (bunch of weeds today among wheats) – and he wrote that i is a “MYSTERY”.

After 17 years of relationship ministry and 25 years of marriage, i’m starting to think I understand the mystery (don’t quote me – I said I think). Here is what I think, as humans, we have DIFFERENT – Personalities (how we react and act), Gender (which affects dominant hormones within us), Nurturing (family or origin, culture, etc.), Mental-Health, etc.

The mystery is now how we blend all the variables, so a Passive -Aggressive Male nurtured in Africa marrying an Aggressive Female nurtured in England, or a Passive Female nurtured in India marrying an Aggressive India male nurtured in America, etc. – you can fill in your marriage scenario…

Regardless of the Variable in YOUR MARRIAGE, what really counts is what God has made available to help YOU become ONE – Faithfulness and Obedience to His WORD and leading of HIS SPIRIT. Whenever a couple is able to DIE TO SELF and SURRENDER to Christ (been transformed within) – the variables (as tough as they are) become inconsequential.

I have found, that when we ignore or dilute God’s Word, or give excuses for NOT following the Holy Spirit, then the variables of life and marriage become AMPLIFIED – our personality issues, our life experiences, etc. separates us, rather than it complement us.

I pray a revelation of the Holy Spirit for your marriage today, and the will to turn the daunting variables to strength.


– Femi Awodele is the Executive Director of Christian Couples Fellowship International, Inc., a marriage ministry with chapters worldwide based in Omaha, Nebraska, in the United States

-The opinions and views expressed in this article are solely those of the writer/author, and do not necessarily represent or reflect the editorial policy of Headline News Nigeria.

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